Preparing Yourself and Your Child for Child Care

Preparing Yourself for Child Care

This may be a difficult time for you as you entrust your child to a new child care provider. Knowing yourself and how you tend to react to change can be helpful during the transition, and make it easier on your child as well. Some things to think about:

If possible, take a few half-days off from work to help your child to make a slow transition into care. For example, take your child in just for the morning and pick her up after lunch for several days. By day three, she can begin to stay for the afternoon. By the end of the week, she should be able to stay for a full day. Alternatively, you can take her in for full days of care all week, but come in to spend the afternoons together for part of the first week. This will also give you additional time to observe your provider’s skill level.
Drive the route you will be taking before care begins, to get a sense of the commute time from home to child care to work
Your child will probably pick up on any feelings of stress or tension you may have about this change, and may react to them. Try to remain calm and reassuring.
On the way to child care, talk to your child about the teachers or provider you met when you visited; talk about the other children you met who attend your child's new program.
If your child cries, try to acknowledge his feelings in a calm and positive way: "Yes, it's hard to say goodbye sometimes, but we will see each other again for dinner tonight, and you can tell me all about the children and the toys you play with today in preschool."
Do not "drag out" difficult goodbyes: once you hug goodbye, leave promptly and try not to show any upset you may feel. If you act confident that your child is in good hands in a safe place, she will sense your confidence and be reassured.

Preparing Your Child for Child Care

You know your child best. Consider her temperament, age, and prior child care experience to help you figure out the best way to prepare her for a new child care experience. Here are some ways to make the transition easier for your child. Remember that children feel more secure and comfortable with people and places they have seen before. Also remember that your child will be aware of any discomfort you feel about the child care experience and will, in turn, feel the same discomfort. Here are some ways for you both to get to know your new provider:

Visit the program or provider with your child at least twice before care is to begin. Visit the program during the busiest time of day so your child will see how the children spend their days.
Ask the teacher or provider how they transition children into the program. If possible, start your child slowly with several partial days of care, rather than beginning with a full day of care.
Explain to your child exactly what will happen on the first few days. Ask the teacher or provider about daily schedules, naptimes, special activities, etc. so you can tell your child what to expect. Providing your child’s special blanket for naptime will be comforting.
Talk to your child about their feelings of sadness and/or excitement. It is normal for your child to have anxieties about the new situation;
be reassuring to your child, and let him know that you care about how he feels, while telling him that he will have the chance to make new friends, learn new things, and have a lot of fun while you are at work or in school.
Go to the public library and find books to read with your child on the topic of starting new child care.
Knowing that you (or another beloved adult) will come back at a certain time is reassuring to your child. If you can, keep pickup time consistent (e.g., every afternoon after snacktime, or every evening at 5:30). This helps your child to feel secure. He can form routines and relax into his day once the pattern is established.
Take some snapshots of yourself and the rest of your family, including pets, and even of your family's home, to the provider. Your child can find comfort in seeing and talking about these pictures with her teacher or the other children. Let your child paste these pictures into a "book", maybe with the names of each person and pet, and a few lines about each one. Some centers have a "book" for each child.
Talk to other parents that have recently transitioned their child into care for ideas that have worked for them and their children. For example, some children like to draw pictures or make other gifts for their parents. Talking about their parents while making the picture can be very helpful to a child. Teachers can help by talking about a child's home and family with the child and reassuring her that she will go home every day.
Try to have as few other changes as possible in your child's life during transition time. If you are expecting a baby, try to start your child's care well before the baby is due so your older child does not feel he was "pushed out" by the new baby. Some simultaneous changes are unavoidable, of course, such as when you move to a new city and a new home, and your child must start a new child care program all at the same time. So many changes can be overwhelming to a young child; try to be extra patient with his fears or anxieties. Your reassuring tone will help your child to feel safe and secure in his new environment more quickly.
Always say goodbye to your child before leaving him at child care. Reassure him that you will be back at the end of the day. If someone else will pick him up, let him know who and when.
Greet your child warmly and happily at the end of the day; let her know you are glad to see her again and that you are looking forward to spending the evening together at home.